Hello, my name is Blacklemon67
My first SVG and the best Photochop I ever did
What I want!
|Area 51||4 GB||$30||Yes|
|Battlefeild 2142||2.5 GB||$30||Yes|
|FlatOut 2||3.5 GB||$20||No|
|Splinter Cell, Chaos Theory||4 GB||$7||No|
|The Orange Box||5 GB||$50||No|
|Total:||40.5 GB-ish||$257-ish||Why you lookin' here?|
I leave my fooling around to Uncyclopedia!
You should too!
The Legend of the Barf Bucket
The legend of the barf bucket starts with a very ordinary man who goes by the name of Toûkinaki Bonsïantė, but his friends just call him waffles. But the origin of that nickname is another story. He worked as a janitor in the local Dojo and spent twelve hours a day sweeping the grime off the hard wood floors that somehow attract dust despite the fact there are several feet jumping around on it 24/7. After the nightly shift, (from 5:30 PM to 5:30 AM,) Waffles went home for a nice meal of cream cheese on toast and a long, five hour sleep. His day started again at 1:51 PM whereas he skips breakfast to get to his 5:30 PM shift. Yes, it is quite a commute. This daily ritual had gone unbroken for at least twenty years. And one day changed it all…
At exactly 9:56 AM while Waffles was sleeping, a government UFO was flying over his house getting ready to abduct, question and survey him. The reason for this is the fact that almost everyone in Canada hangs up when asked if they would take a survey. As they were abducting him, Waffles hit his had on the windowsill instantly waking him from his coma-like slumber. “Wha?” waffles mumbled. “AA! A!! A!! A! AAAA! A!!! AAA! AAA! A! A!!!” Waffles appeared to be screaming, but in fact, the windowsill bump caused him to revert to his native tongue. The language happened to be the esoteric programming language known as A! His parents where “nerds,” as it probably goes without saying.
Although Waffles worked at a Dojo, he didn’t exactly know karate. So instead of fighting back against the abductors, he cowered in a corner where he received an extremely large dose of radiation. The dose, in fact, was actually much more then the patents who received cancer treatment from the therac 25. The government agents found that Waffles was a horrible candidate and released him though a trap door, causing him to land on a lamppost. Instantly sending the light trough his solar plexus and severing many arteries, causing Waffles to die.
But, Waffles didn’t really die, his performance as a human being was only severely affected and his body was rendered useless. Luckily, the radiation sent information from his brain into a nearby trash bin. The radiation turned the trash bin into a cybernetic life form because the computer equipment merged with waffle’s brain and the trash bin. Waffles was now, SUPER WAFFLES! Unfortunately, the super part was very mild, with him being a trashcan and all.
The newer, more “super” Waffles set out to wrong rights and right wrongs. That goal, however, didn’t work out on the first try so Waffles set out to do what he always did, clean the dojo. But, he couldn’t sweep, dust, wash or scrub anything without scratching or breaking it. And all he could do is stay in the corner and collect dust. Three days later, something amazing happened, a chubby white belt (after five pushups) felt the need to throw up. He ran over to waffles, assuming he was a bucket meant for barf, and discharged into him. Waffles had realized his true purpose - collect throw-up! The staff of the dojo were very grateful and new white belts where told this motto:
“When you gotta barf, think of waffles and puke into him, too!”
Waffles was a admired by the whole staff and every single member of the tiny dojo. And Waffle’s had found true meaning in life, or something close to life at least.