User:Collard

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Unified login: Collard is the unique login of this user for all public Wikimedia projects.

Commons. Serious business.

en	This user is a native English speaker.

PH-1

This user is able to take beginner quality photographs.

This user thinks "copyright paranoia" is awesome.

This user contributes using Linux.

You can't stop the ROCK

[edit] About me

Lens focal length 3149.9651172991 mm?? Was the pineapple orbiting around the earth?

— Stefan Vladuck on EXIF data

Hai, I'm Lewis Collard. You can email me at lewiscollard@gmail.com or you can find me on Freenode as lc2 (that's a lower-case "L" at the start, not an upper case "i").

[edit] The law

Respect for the law is not merely not doing something negative but is actually doing something positive. Respect for the law is behaving in such a way that you act affirmatively to manifest a respect for the law. Respect means acting with deference and esteem, even awe for the law, and with a sense that the law has value over and above the immediacy of the application of the law in a given situation. It means that we nurture the law, help the law to evolve and in turn allow the law to help us evolve as well. Without law there can be no civilization. Indeed, it is the law that creates civilization.

— Ivan Hoffman, Respect for the Law

And this is why we can't have nice things.

[edit] Random

Here's some random spam that I decided should be immortalised, just because spamming a talk page of a long-deleted image with a recipe is such an awesome and selfless thing to do.

[edit] Flowers, plants, etc

photography on auto-pilot...	pink petunia	moar flowar	this one was growing out away from anything, all by itself...
pretty little thing	i didn't blow this and wish for my life to be a happy place again. well, maybe.. :\	this makes me sad :\	not tasty
tasty	{{oppose}}, DOF too shallow	you can never have too many	pretty daisy-looking "weed", also weird-ass colour balance
something this pretty growing out of the toxic soil of a disused railway trackbed...	om nom nom nom picks teeth	what i chewed on while taking those bridge photos	moar flowers
bay tree leaves	petunias	hypericum flowar	some weeds are way too pretty to pull up...
half-wishie	wishie	geranium, also blah	rose (blah)
pretty daisy-looking flower

[edit] Bridges

I liek bridges:

ghosted HDR is ghosted :(	boing	in glorious HDR	30/4 NEVAR FORGET
another disused bridge, this on the former harbour branch in KL	disused railway bridge over the River Nar near the former South Lynn station	which is this, with a real camera	which is this, at sunset, with a real camera
bridge near magdalen	rock and, indeed, roll.

[edit] Maps!

the Epping to Ongar railway! (no, it shouldn't be SVG)

this took ages (see also Image:Railways in Kings Lynn.svg for the SVG version, SVG version renders a bit brox0red ;\)

[edit] Cameras

A selection of some of my camera junk.

Canon EOS D30: my prehistoric DSLR that I love. Most of the reasonable photos here were taken with it.
Praktica MTL3: the most abused camera in all history. It's been dropped countless times, accidentally kicked a couple more, used in rain and freezing cold, etc. One time I changed the lens on it outdoors on a hot day. When I took a photo with it I saw an insect walking across the mirror. I fired the shutter and there wasn't an insect there anymore. I did say abused.
The point and shoot from hell: the borrowed point and shoot from hell. If it has more noise than a Fugazi concert, then that's probably the camera I used.
Voigtlander Vito B: my favourite camera of all time. It takes superb photos and it's so damned cute.

pentax ZX-M + 50mm f/2 (another version of this here)	canon A-1	A-1 with Power Winder A	trip 35
my baby	the point and shoot from hell	MTL3 with big lens	the MTL3 with a Zeiss Jena lens
the MTL3	fujica ST-705 (even worse photo here)	my favourite camera ever (also see crappier and even crappier versions)

and lenses:

FD 50mm f/1.8	135mm f/3.5	FD 28mm f/2.8	helios 44-M-4 58mm f/2.0
nasty £12 ebay find	spot the difference --->	awesome pentacon 50mm	pentacon 29mm
gotta catch 'em all!

[edit] Dog

My dog Sherman is fucking awesome, and yours is not.

":P"

shoulda brought a towel

photogenic Sherman

woof

[edit] Cats

Because Commons can never have enough cat photos. Ever.

HUGE CAT SAYS

COMMONS ALWAYS

NEEDS MORE

CAT PHOTOS.

[edit] Other pretty animals

they're so cute when they're young, before they turn into something that looks like an ugly-ass pigeon	<3 butterflies too	sparrow. <3 sparrows.	seal + fish
these photos pretty much take themselves	so pretty :D	a recent visitor to the back yard	LEFT A SLIIIDE INTO HARM'S WAYYYY
a blackbird

[edit] Humans

bzzzzzzzt

bzzzzt

i think MIG welding is a pretty cool guy. eh wears no safety gear and doesn't afraid of anything.

angle grinder vs hand

[edit] Water

or, doing it wrong

the first rule of boat club, is that you do not talk about boat club

the Nar under the A47

the relief channel for the River Great Ouse.

[edit] Vehicles

365504 at King's Lynn	modded Range Rover	101 FC	class 365
tiggarrrrr	courtesy of Alex! (pedia: Alpine A310)	101s are bad-ass (see 101 Forward Control)	galvanised series III chassis
rover v8, blown highlight, crap	Mazda 323 GTX.	damaged head gasket. alex toasts his astra for make benefit glorious website of wikipedia!	what a head gasket should look like...
crap	crap	crap	crap
crap, but beat up range rovers are bad ass (pedia: Range Rover Classic	crap, unsharp and noisy, but also a cool car	oh Lord, won't you buy me a W115?	an Alvis Stalwart gets into a fight with a caravan. there was a clear winner. (see Alvis Stalwart on teh pedia)
BMW E30	blown out highlights and shitty colour balance courtesy of the point and shoot from hell	a Fairey overdrive	fastrac and mccormick, potato harvesting. greycstoration sucks, and de-noised away all the film grain and detail
yeah, if i had pointed my camera a fraction lower this would be well-framed. ;/ and i'm not sure what's causing that annoying horizontal line...

[edit] Sky

YASP

YASP (yet another sunset picture)

telephone pole

shitty sunset photo, or, HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE FILM NOISE

[edit] Internets

commons is a pretty cool guy

srs biz.

[edit] And so on

Things that aren't any of the above:

pint of strongbow	old rusty petrol pump. OH MY GOD ITS A QI GET IN THE CAR	the abandoned petrol station it sits at	norfolk, by the way, has no mountain rescue team.
the "blood stains" were a nice touch.	overgrown track bed in south lynn	they named a place in Russia after an alcoholic drink, isn't that cool?	square straw bales
my local station, also crap.	the nokia 8110, crap, noisy and underexposed

[edit] Pearson Scott Foresman images

moar to come here, it's a great way to kill time:

awww	dawwwww	stawwww of bethlehem	stawwwwwwling
sawwwwwwbmarine (okay, i've taken this too far, stops)	submachine gun	subulate leaves!1	Plane (tool)
plateau	pleat	serrated leaf	serrulate leaf
spooooon of sataaaaan	splice	spline	splay
louse	louver	lowboy	lugger
auger	"harquebus" is such a cool word	again..	hook
HOOK!!	ugly-ass grasshopper	another

[edit] Other people's stuff I uploaded

shiny	win!	win!	MOAR WIN
WINNNN	WIN	win	polished series II
"checkers up at the farm", a sculpture by John Rogers	epping-ongar railway	mmmmmm dribble	drool*
fuck yeahhhhh

[edit] Paul Miller photos

See this category for a whole ton of railway photos from the early 70s onwards, kindly donated by Paul Miller.

[edit] my favourites by other people

squish	OM NOM NOM NOM	trains AND CATS. I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS OVERLOAD OF AWESOME.	cute
rusty class 81s	awwww :D	pilot fish rock	vrrrrm
i thought this was some pretty coral at first, but it turned out to be a really ugly-ass fish	but cropped to 1.33:1	AWESOME

[edit] Awards!

I award you the Commons Barnstar for your great work in deleting copyvios. Well Done! Anonymous101 ^talk 15:56, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

		The Tireless Contributor Barnstar
		For your 'tireless' (read: Joyful) and consistent wielding of the mighty deletion spoon. Doubly so when you have to put up with being enslaved by me so I can get stuff done. ^_^ --ShakataGaNai ^Talk 04:29, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

		The Surreal Barnstar
		Some brains, some humour & some work - not your standard package :) Thanks for the work on Commons --Herby ^{talk thyme} 15:52, 12 June 2008 (UTC)