User:Collard

LEWIS COLLARD DOT COM

(I'M ON FUCKING TWITTER AS WELL)

Unified login: Collard is the unique login of this user for all public Wikimedia projects.

Commons. Serious business.

Me at 52°44′3.2″N 0°24′2.1″E / 52.734222°N 0.400583°E / 52.734222; 0.400583

en	This user is a native English speaker.

PH-1

This user is able to take beginner quality photographs.

This user thinks "copyright paranoia" is awesome.

This user contributes using Linux.

You can't stop the ROCK

About me [edit]

Lens focal length 3149.9651172991 mm?? Was the pineapple orbiting around the earth?

— Stefan Vladuck on EXIF data

Hai, I'm Lewis Collard. You can email me at lewiscollard@gmail.com or you can find me on Freenode as lc2 (that's a lower-case "L" at the start, not an upper case "i").

The law [edit]

Respect for the law is not merely not doing something negative but is actually doing something positive. Respect for the law is behaving in such a way that you act affirmatively to manifest a respect for the law. Respect means acting with deference and esteem, even awe for the law, and with a sense that the law has value over and above the immediacy of the application of the law in a given situation. It means that we nurture the law, help the law to evolve and in turn allow the law to help us evolve as well. Without law there can be no civilization. Indeed, it is the law that creates civilization.

— Ivan Hoffman, Respect for the Law

And this is why we can't have nice things.

Random [edit]

Here's some random spam that I decided should be immortalised, just because spamming a talk page of a long-deleted image with a recipe is such an awesome and selfless thing to do.

Flowers, plants, etc [edit]

symmetry :)
nature always wins
teasel!
fallen leaves, I
fallen leaves, II
photography on auto-pilot...
pink petunia
moar flowar
this one was growing out away from anything, all by itself...
pretty little thing
wish granted
this makes me sad :\
not tasty
tasty
{{oppose}}, DOF too shallow
you can never have too many
pretty daisy-looking "weed", also weird-ass colour balance
something this pretty growing out of the toxic soil of a disused railway trackbed...
om nom nom nom *picks teeth*
there is no such thing as over-saturated
pump up the ~~volume~~ saturation
orangish yellow gazania
what i chewed on while taking those bridge photos
moar flowers
bay tree leaves
petunias
hypericum flowar
some weeds are way too pretty to pull up...
half-wishie
wishie
geranium, also blah
rose (blah)
pretty daisy-looking flower

subset: fields

rapeseed fields
norfolk, by the way, has no mountain rescue team.
young wheat fields
more fucking FIELDS

Bridges [edit]

I liek bridges:

south lynn bridge, I
south lynn bridge, II
south lynn bridge, III
south lynn bridge, IV
|south lynn bridge, V
and on film :D
30/4 NEVAR FORGET
another disused bridge, this on the former harbour branch in KL
which is this, with a real camera
which is this, at sunset, with a real camera
bridge near magdalen
rock and, indeed, roll.

Maps! [edit]

the Epping to Ongar railway! (no, it shouldn't be SVG)
this took ages (see also Image:Railways in Kings Lynn.svg for the SVG version, SVG version renders a bit brox0red ;\)

Cameras [edit]

See also here, where I write about some of these in depth.

Minolta Maxxum 7000
satan's spawn
Canon T50
Konica C35
Nikon F55 and 50mm f/1.8
Canon T90
hasselbladski
hasselbladski with 80mm f/2.8
Nikon D70
Nikon D2H
alternative version
pentax ZX-M + 50mm f/2 (another version of this here)
canon A-1
A-1 with Power Winder A
trip 35
D30 (also here
the point and shoot from hell
MTL3 with big lens
the MTL3 with a Zeiss Jena lens
the MTL3
fujica ST-705 (even worse photo here)
my favourite camera ever (also see crappier and even crappier versions)

and lenses:

improvised macro lens! :D
FD 50mm f/1.8
135mm f/3.5
FD 28mm f/2.8
helios 44-M-4 58mm f/2.0
nasty £12 ebay find
spot the difference --->
awesome pentacon 50mm
pentacon 29mm
gotta catch 'em all!

Dog [edit]

My dog Sherman is fucking awesome, and yours is too.

<3
please play? :D
*yawn*
":P"
shoulda brought a towel
photogenic Sherman
woof

Cats [edit]

Because Commons can never have enough cat photos. Ever.

HUGE CAT
SAYS
COMMONS
CAN
NEVER
HAVE
ENOUGH
CAT PHOTOS.

Birds [edit]

ugly ass "duck"
seriously he didn't like me taking pictures.
hay guise wats goin on
*heart melts*
d'awwww
huaglauagluaglua
blue tit
happy sparrow
swans
single swan
ugly ass seagull #2
ugly ass seagull #1
a recent visitor to the back yard
a blackbird
they're so cute when they're young, before they turn into something that looks like an ugly-ass pigeon

Other pretty animals [edit]

:)
<3 butterflies too
sparrow. <3 sparrows.
seal + fish
these photos pretty much take themselves
so pretty :D
LEFT A SLIIIDE INTO HARM'S WAYYYY

Humans [edit]

bzzzzzzzt
bzzzzt
i think MIG welding is a pretty cool guy. eh wears no safety gear and doesn't afraid of anything.
angle grinder vs hand

Water [edit]

last light on the ouse on velvia
orange clouds over the ouse
sun striking said clouds
trees on the Ouse on Ektar
West Glen, Little Bytham
on a real camera
West Glen, Little Bytham, II
ouse relief channel at last light
ouse in Lynn
the first rule of boat club, is that you do not talk about boat club
the Nar under the A47
the relief channel for the River Great Ouse.
wensum in norwich

Railways [edit]

some 365s:

365504 at King's Lynn
365504 at Ely
365525 at watlington
another 365 at watlington
class 365

and some non-365s:

like that one but with kodachrome -->
Sir Nigel Gresley at Watlington
91s at King's Cross
158865 at Ely
66010 at Watlington
66010 at Watlington, again
66182 at Ely
66206 at Downham Market
170114 at Ely
170201 at Ely (DO YOU SEE A PATTERN YET)
fuck yeah class 47
fuck yeah mid-norfolk railway
9466 at dereham
37003 at dereham
IC225 barrier vehicle
317656 at watlington
not even a train but
also not a train

Non-train vehicles [edit]

Land Rovers [edit]

what all Land Rover owners dread
series IIA struggling through mud
first wash in over four years
the RR IIA again
and another one
muddy Range Rover
modded Range Rover
101 FC
EA Land Rover Defender
Land Rover Series III
tiggarrrrr
101s are bad-ass (see 101 Forward Control)
galvanised series III chassis
series III gearbox
series III gearbox
'87 range rover
'87 range rover
'87 range rover
'87 range rover on blocks
crap, but beat up range rovers are bad ass (pedia: Range Rover Classic

Norfolk Drift Team [edit]

BMW E28 drifting
gorgeous old-school M5
worse picture of said old-school M5
E36
S14
E28 again
excellent Starion
the excellent Starion again
MX-5
Skyline R32 drift car
Skyline R33 drift car
Ian and Ammo
MnM
minnie
beautiful
Toyota Soarer

Others [edit]

celica GT-Four (RIP)
Celica GT
porsche 996
SJ413 on blocks
hyundai i10
300ZX
courtesy of Alex! (pedia: Alpine A310)
rover v8, blown highlight, crap
skyliiiiiiine
<-- like that but stripped down
Mazda 323 GTX.
damaged head gasket. alex toasts his astra for make benefit glorious website of wikipedia!
what a head gasket should look like...
crap
crap, unsharp and noisy, but also a cool car
oh Lord, won't you buy me a W115?
an Alvis Stalwart gets into a fight with a caravan. there was a clear winner. (see Alvis Stalwart on teh pedia)
BMW E30
blown out highlights and shitty colour balance courtesy of the point and shoot from hell
a Fairey overdrive
fastrac and mccormick, potato harvesting. greycstoration sucks, and de-noised away all the film grain and detail
yeah, if i had pointed my camera a fraction lower this would be well-framed. ;/ and i'm not sure what's causing that annoying horizontal line...
NATO tow bar
NATO hitch
semi-trailer

Train stations [edit]

King's Cross
Lynn in the evening
Norwich
my local station
Watlington signal box
Watlington signal box, III
Watlington goods office
Watlington sign
Watlington barrier
Watlington signage
Dereham
Dereham

Sky [edit]

YASP
YASP (yet another sunset picture)
telephone pole
shitty sunset photo, or, HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE FILM NOISE

Watlington [edit]

Where I live:

crumbling building in watlington
bench in Watlington
Watlington village green
farm fence
church in watlington
John Davis Way
Station Road
Bollards, Fen Road
Fen Road

Internets [edit]

commons is a pretty cool guy
srs biz.

And so on [edit]

Things that aren't any of the above:

kodachroooooome
and other animals
under open skies
riverside, little bytham
stile in Little Bytham
stile in Little Bytham in glorious technicolour
Willoughby Arms, Little Bytham
footpath in Lynn
diffraction spikes, II
diffraction spikes
customs house
tidal land
st margaret's, lynn
on film
Campbell's tower (RIP)
footpath in Little Bytham
trees lining the road
esso station, west winch
st mary magdalene church I
st mary magdalene church II
greyfriars tower
Lewis Bollard
pint of strongbow
old rusty petrol pump. OH MY GOD ITS A QI GET IN THE CAR
the abandoned petrol station it sits at
the "blood stains" were a nice touch.
on velvia
on Velvia, II
overgrown track bed in south lynn
they named a place in Russia after an alcoholic drink, isn't that cool?
square straw bales
sodium haze I
sodium haze II
the nokia 8110, crap, noisy and underexposed
ouse + footpath

Pearson Scott Foresman images [edit]

moar to come here, it's a great way to kill time:

awww
dawwwww
stawwww of bethlehem
stawwwwwwling
sawwwwwwbmarine (okay, i've taken this too far, *stops*)
submachine gun
subulate leaves!1
Plane (tool)
plateau
pleat
serrated leaf
serrulate leaf
spooooon of sataaaaan
splice
spline
splay
louse
louver
lowboy
lugger
auger
"harquebus" is such a cool word
again..
hook
HOOK!!
ugly-ass grasshopper
another

Other people's stuff I uploaded [edit]

shiny
win!
win!
MOAR WIN
WINNNN
WIN
win
polished series II
"checkers up at the farm", a sculpture by John Rogers
epping-ongar railway
mmmmmm *dribble*
- drool*
fuck yeahhhhh

Paul Miller photos [edit]

See this category for a whole ton of railway photos from the early 70s onwards, kindly donated by Paul Miller.

my favourites by other people [edit]

*squish*
OM NOM NOM NOM
trains AND CATS. I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS OVERLOAD OF AWESOME.
cute
rusty class 81s
awwww :D
pilot fish rock
vrrrrm
i thought this was some pretty coral at first, but it turned out to be a really ugly-ass fish
but cropped to 1.33:1
AWESOME

Awards! [edit]

I award you the Commons Barnstar for your great work in deleting copyvios. Well Done! Anonymous101 ^talk 15:56, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

		The Tireless Contributor Barnstar
		For your 'tireless' (read: Joyful) and consistent wielding of the mighty deletion spoon. Doubly so when you have to put up with being enslaved by me so I can get stuff done. ^_^ --ShakataGaNai ^Talk 04:29, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

		The Surreal Barnstar
		Some brains, some humour & some work - not your standard package :) Thanks for the work on Commons --Herby ^{talk thyme} 15:52, 12 June 2008 (UTC)