English subtitles for clip: File:Nellie has a lot of emotions after taking San Pedro - Drugslab.webm

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Everything is moving back and forth
and breathing.

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Hi, flashy friends, I'm Nellie.
-And I'm Bastiaan.

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Welcome to...
-Our Drugslab.

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Twice a month we test various drugs
to see how it affects our body.

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If you're curious about a drug
or if you know a good location...

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let us know in the comments.

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Tonberry King, Daniela Bravo...
-KnockOut Para un Final...

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and glenn salvesen want me to try...
-San Pedro.

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We're not going to do it here.
It's too intense to do it here.

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We want to go about it in a...
-Spiritual manner.

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I'm going try San Pedro
in ceremonial way.

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I find it extremely exciting.
-But you are ready for it, right?

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Well, Nell, put your trip dress on.
-And let's go.

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We made it.
We're sitting in a yurt. It's beautiful.

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I think you'll experience
an amazing trip here.

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San Pedro is a cactus.
We're have dried San Pedro.

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It's a powder and it smells...

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a bit like tea, but not strongly.

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San Pedro can be found
in the Andes mountains.

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It's been used for over 3000 years
and it's still used in ceremonies.

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Using San Pedro
can give you visions and insights.

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Some people even get hallucinations.
It's quite a spiritual substance.

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There's a ceremony leader
who is going to guide my trip.

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It can lead to an inner journey.
I'm quite nervous.

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I'm glad we're in a nice environment
and that the trip can be guided.

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The ceremony leader has determined
a dose of 25 grams.

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It depends on the potency of the cactus, so
you don't know exactly how intense it'll be.

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25 grams could be very intense for me,
but not intense for someone else...

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if their cactus is less potent.
-We have a powder...

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so you can mix it with apple juice,
because it's disgusting.

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You have to drink a thick sludge.

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You have to push through,
because we want to see the effects.

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I've brought along some ginger,
because it can make you nauseous.

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Before I drink the San Pedro, I will be
'smudged' by the ceremony leader.

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And that is?
-A ritual cleansing.

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You have to drink it slowly.
-Okay, thank you.

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It's like drinking bitter earth.

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You have to drink San Pedro slowly,
otherwise the effect can be too intense.

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It can also make you nauseous,
so take your time. We're not in a hurry.

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I should be glad to consume something,
because you're not allowed to eat...

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six hours beforehand,
or at least that's recommended.

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That way it's absorbed better
and there's less chance of puking.

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I had a nicer breakfast in mind.
-One more sip and then you're done.

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Can you still handle it?
-I'm already nauseous.

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Well done.
-I'm a bit out of sorts now.

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Was it disgusting?
-It was really very disgusting.

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An hour has gone by.
How do you feel now?

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I have to laugh all the time,
but I feel very nauseous. It's up to here.

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Your eyes are very dilated.
-Really?

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It feels like 'happiness hormones'
have been released.

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I also feel a bit hazy.

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It feels like it's stuck in my body.
My body feels uncomfortable.

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I've given you a notebook and a pen.
I'm going to play some music.

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Take this time to meditate
and to reflect on everything.

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Everything that serves no purpose,
that you don't need and want to let go.

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Let the San Pedro tell you
where to unleash the energy.

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During my ceremony,
I received four tasks.

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First, I had to write down
what I wanted to let go.

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Then, what I wanted to promise myself,
what I was grateful for...

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and finally I had to confess.

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I feel that confessions are for things
for which you feel remorse...

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but what I like about myself
is that I'm not a saint...

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because I have a strong urge
to be like a saint.

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In your case it's not a sin then.
-No, it doesn't feel like a sin.

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It feels like a liberation
to do things that aren't allowed.

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I've never before seen the images
that I'm seeing and experiencing now.

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This really is a wise plant.

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Wow, a wild animal.

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I'm glad you're here to guide me, golly.

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I believe you've written down a lot.
-Totally. I lost myself completely.

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Everything is going back and forth
and breathing.

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It feels like I have to surrender to it,
literally and figuratively.

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It became a bit too much.

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That's because everything is moving...

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the colours are more intense
and I'm engaged in an inner dialogue.

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It's very lovingly, but I've noticed
that I'm constantly talking to myself.

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A moment ago, with the music, nausea
and everything I've written down...

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everything started
to jump and dance around.

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It's a pleasant vibe,
but it's having a profound effect on me.

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My mind is going in every direction.

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I've written down quite a lot.
-Can we talk about it?

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That's fine by me.
-I want to ask you about what I saw.

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You've written down things like:

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letting go of tension, nausea,
insincerity and restlessness.

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Your mum passed away
a few years ago.

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Why did you write down her name?
Why would you want to let her go?

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Not her personally,
but all the pain associated with her.

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My mum used to be my mum,
pretty, sweet and fun...

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but when someone becomes ill,
a lot of negative things come with it.

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I used to associate my mum with beauty
but now I associate her with pain.

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I don't want it to hurt any longer.

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When I think of my mum,
I want to think of something beautiful...

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instead of just all that pain.
That's what I want to let go of.

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Of course I remember her fondly,
but now when I hear the word 'mum'...

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I have to cringe.
I never felt that way before.

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This is the moment to let that go.
-Indeed.

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You can now take place by the fire.

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You have to say out loud to the fire
what you want to let go of.

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You have to brush fear and insecurities
from your body and give it to the fire.

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The more emotions and force
you put behind it...

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the more effect it will have
in your daily life.

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In any case the urge for perfection.
That's just nonsense.

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And I don't want to be part
of all the insincerity.

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I want to be rid of that.

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I don't want to let my mum go,
but just all the pain associated with her.

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I also wrote down that it's time
for me to leave my comfort zone...

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because I have the urge
to be in control all the time.

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I no longer want to waste any energy.

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I want to surrender to life.

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I no longer want other people
to have anything to say about me.

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That was everything, I think.

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I want to let that all go.

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When I close my eyes,
it becomes very intense.

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That's a sort of acceptance that things
can be intense and unpleasant.

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That's what it is.

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I'm in a kind of magical
and enchanted land.

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It's so intense, it's ridiculous.

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Are you still having fun?
-Yes, it's still fun...

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but I'm glad someone is here,
because this is so intense, guys.

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Everything is moving.
My thoughts are all over the place.

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One moment I feel I've had enough and
the next I feel I have to surrender to it.

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But by golly, this isn't child's play.
It's as if I've taken...

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2C-B, truffles, mushrooms, MDMA,
weed and hash all at once.

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That's quite intense.
-It's so intense.

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And in the meantime,
I'm getting very clear ideas...

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and things I want to talk about,
but sometimes it's really intense.

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If you're going to do this, prepare well.
Know what you're getting yourself into.

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Make sure you can relax the next day...

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because it's a shock to the system
and very intense.

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You'll be very tired the next day.
-It feels like all my senses are open.

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Everything has meaning now.

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Normally you're preoccupied
with you as a person or with a cat...

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but now everything has meaning.

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Everything that I thought was important
isn't important at all.

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I'm wondering what we're all doing,
also in regards to myself, I think:

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What can I do
to make the world a better place?

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It's so easy to waste your time
on fleeting matters.

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We're only concerned with our phones
instead of making fun together.

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We act like we care a lot for each other,
but we only care for ourselves.

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We don't even do that, because
if we actually did, we wouldn't do that.

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We would stop doing everything
that we're doing now.

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Only what you think is important counts
and not what others find important.

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Only what I find important.
-Exactly.

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Do you feel like screaming or running?
-Yes, perhaps.

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Right?
-Right.

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Go ahead and scream.
-I want you to scream with me.

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Was that nice?
-It was.

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How do you feel now?
-Shattered.

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I do feel happy and very chill...

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but I've noticed that I've never
experienced anything like this before.

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You also look tired.
-I'm done.

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Did you think it went well?
-Certainly.

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I think that Nellie has grown a lot
these last few hours.

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You're a fine human being.
-Thanks.

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That's very important.
That's all I have to say.

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We're going to sit here for a bit and
then we'll see how you feel tomorrow.

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Guys, this was super intense.

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A lot has happened in the meantime.
It's all just very intense.

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It was nice, but there's not enough time
to discuss it in a 'day after' session.

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That's why I have a surprise for you.
I'm going to do a special next week.

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In the comments you can ask me
all about my San Pedro journey.

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You can ask questions
that are personal for you or for me.

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If you have any questions about
San Pedro after watching this video...

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you can ask whatever you like
about San Pedro.

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I'll tell you everything that has happened
with me in these last few weeks...

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because that was quite a lot.

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Lots of kisses and I'm looking forward
to your questions. Until next week.